


msannomalley Reviews Ace from Outer Space/Galactor's Grand Air Show

by msannomalley



Series: msannomalley Reviews Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman [5]
Category: Battle of the Planets, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman & Related Fandoms, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman | Science Ninja Team Gatchaman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 11:18:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3808384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msannomalley/pseuds/msannomalley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silliness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ace from Outer Space

Sometimes, as I'm watching Battle of the Planets, I get this feeling that 7-Zark-7 is supposed to be omnipotent or something, or at least he  _thinks_  he's omnipotent. He claims in Episode One that he controls the  **Transmute!**  process. He's claimed that he's the one who gets G-Force out and back for every one of their missions. In Episode Three, he supposedly discovers a new planet (that was hiding behind Venus), and conveniently has said planet named after him. Well, it's no different in this episode. The show opens with Zark going on about him being in charge of designing and construction of a new space ship or something. And he's supposed to have this ready in time for the big Intergalactic Air Show. Zark informs us of this as he is reclining back on his bed thing or whatever it is that he lies on in his ready room. He is interrupted by a call from Susan "That will be $3.99 for the first minute" From Planet Pluto. Susan congratulates Zark on his space ship in that voice of hers that makes every word that comes out of her mouth sound very dirty. She praises Zark for his "wonderful imagination". Zark giggles (which is something he should  ** _never, ever_** do) and replies, "You should only know how I imagine you." (ewww!) Susan says that Zark is making her turn a deep rusty red, while Ms. Ann feels her lunch slowly creeping up her throat. Thankfully, Susan then gets to the point of her call. She's spotted a very unusual space craft coming from the hostile planet of Ergos. The ship looks like a bi-plane, and naturally Susan makes the word "bi-plane" sound dirty, too. Zark thinks the plane/ship is headed for the Intergalactic Air Show and thinks that things should get interesting. Susan says bye and makes that sound dirty, too. Zark tells us that Susan really "charges his accelerators." Ms. Ann needs to take a shower now. A long, hot Lysol shower.

Next, we're at the air show. Zark, in a voice over, tells us that it is a really proud day for him and for G-Force. For out of all the pilots in the Intergalactic Federation, Mark has been picked to fly the new Space Scout. Zark is worried, which is standard operating procedure. He explains that the plane is of a radical new design and it can go really, really fast. (That's it in a nutshell, because I don't feel like scanning back to get the exact quote right now. The DVD player on my computer is not precise in that regard and I always end up going back too far and I really don't feel like watching Zark and Susan flirt with each other again. But I digress...) Zark babbles on about worrying over G-Force (They make medication for anxiety, Zark. Look into it.) While he is going on about his neuroses, we see Mark and Chief Anderson out on the tarmac. Mark is wearing a helmet and flight suit and he looks just like Speed Racer (which is a funny thing, since the production company that made Gatchaman also made Speed Racer.) Chief tells Mark that it's all up to him. If the ship performs well, it could strengthen galaxy security. Chief says, "Make it a good test." Mark replies, "I'll turn her inside out, Chief." And Chief Anderson is probably thinking, "No, you nitwit. Just fly the plane."

Mark takes off. Back on the ground, Chief Anderson, Princess, and Keyop are watching the take off (and I'm wondering if Jason and Tiny had better things to do and didn't come to watch this.). Keyop blips out, "Super Mark!" And Princess replies, "I'll say!" And I'm thinking, "Do you think everything the guy does is perfect?" The control tower asks him how he's doing. Mark replies, "Beautiful. She's flying like a homesick angel." Then Mark sees something ahead. It's a bi-plane. There is someone standing on the bi-plane. Back on the tarmac, Chief Anderson goes, "What is that thing?" Then Keyop stutters, "Pull up, Mark!" While he is saying this, we see that Jason and Tiny are there after all so maybe they didn't have better things to do that day.

Then we get a close-up shot of the dude standing on the bi-plane. How shall I describe this individual? He looks like a very flamboyant Captain Stubing (from the Love Boat for those of you who are old enough to remember that show.). He is wearing a purple and white cap, a purple and white jacket, and fuchsia scarf that flutters in the breeze behind him. He has longish blonde hair. And he's wearing purple thigh high boots. I am not making this up. But that's not the worst of it. His face appears to be that of the skull of a Texas Longhorn, complete with the long horns. I kid you not. Mr. Texas Longhorn Head cackles out, "So! You have a new toy. Let's play!"

Mark is like, "Who's that?" Out of the wings of the bi-plane come these whips. First he whips Mark's plane, and after he's hit, Mark lets out the cry that sounds like he's a sick cow (Casey Kasem doesn't do emotion all that well.). Mark's plane goes crashing into the water. Back on the tarmac, Chief Anderson looks shocked, but says in a very unemotional tone of voice that Mark's down and "that thing" forced him into the ocean. (Seen it, already.) Keyop is righteously outraged. He raises his fist and lets out an angry grunt that quite frankly I didn't think the little guy was capable of making. He yells out, "I'll get you!" Princess goes, "Mark!" Jason is behind the two of them and doesn't say anything. Out over the water, we see smoke and then someone coming down via parachute. It's Mark.

Mr. Texas Longhorn Head starts thrashing the planes on the ground and just generally making a mess of things. Somebody doesn't know how to play nice. Every time he strikes, he goes, "There!" Now the airport is one flaming wreck and Mr. Texas Longhorn is cackling evilly. Back in the water, Mark is floating on the surface and he is contacted by Chief Anderson. Chief asks Mark if he's okay. He is, but the plane is a "total wipeout." Mark thinks that they have a new enemy to cope with. Chief agrees and says, "It's Captain Doo-oo-m", drawing out the "o's". (And I'm glad he's got a name so I don't have to type out Mr. Texas Long Horn Head over and over again.) Keyop goes, "Trouble." Princess goes, "And big!" Then Jason says, "He's that space pirate from Planet Ergos." Jason just said the smartest thing so far in this episode. Chief tells Mark to hold on, and then tells the others to get to the Phoenix and pick up Mark. They all say "right!" and leave. I should mention that during this whole test flight/Captain Doom sequence, Tiny basically stood there and said nothing.

Now the Phoenix is airborne and closing in on Captain Doom. Doom gives a little spiel about G-Force not learning their lesson about challenging the power of Doom's laser whips, which don't have any lasers on them or coming from them. Doom turns his plane around and heads straight for the Phoenix. Tiny says that they're on a collision course, and because the MSTing instinct I have has kicked in, I say, "with wackiness". Doom's laser whips that don't shoot lasers whip at the Phoenix. Mark brags about how the Phoenix isn't that easy to destroy and tells G-Force that it's time to show Doooooom (Mark draws out the o's, too.) what they're made of. Then Jason goes, "It's our turn." He walks up to the Big Red Button (with 70's disco music is playing in the background.) and for once, nobody stops him. Jason fires a missile, but a big glass or Plexiglas or Kevlar or something bubble closes around Captain Doom. Now his plane looks like the Pope Jet and Doom looks like the Texas Long Horn In the Plastic Bubble. The missile has no effect on Doom or his Pope Jet. Mark calls the plastic bubble thing a force field, but I've never seen a force field like that. Most of the ones I've seen are made of some kind of energy. The whips come out and The Doom in the Plastic Bubble whips off a piece of the Phoenix's rudder rather easily. So much for being difficult to destroy.

Now Doom is bored and decides to head off. The bi-plane transforms into a rocket, just like The Transformers (Robots in Disguise!) do when they change from vehicles to robots. Doom takes off. Tiny goes, "Look at that baby go! It's doing Mach 8." Then Mark says, "You'll see us again, Doom." Then Princess says, "Only if Tiny can land the Phoenix without a rudder!" And then the rudderless Phoenix heads home.

I assume that the team is back at Center Neptune (although at this point in the series, we have yet to get those infamous "ready room" sequences). Chief Anderson is looking through the world's biggest microscope. It's so big, it's base is a raised platform and the Chief has to sit in a chair. It's also got these big wheel crank things on it. He's looking at some shiny rocks. He says, "This is fantastic!" And Mark wonders if the scientists were able to get a sample out of the smashed rudder. They got the sample all right, but they don't have a clue as to what it is. It's harder than any other metal and it seems to be indestructible (but they have fragments of it on the piece of rudder. Go figure.) Keyop groans or something. Princess wonders that since it's indestructible, how can they fight against it? Tiny says someone has to know where that weird stuff came from. Chief Anderson theorizes that the weird stuff came from an asteroid that had wandered into the galaxy and was captured by Planet Ergos. Chief believes that if he's right, only Ergos would know if there is a defense against it. Mark says that G-Force has to find the asteroid. Tiny thinks it's impossible to do so. Chief Anderson thinks that it might not be so impossible. Zark reported an unidentified flying object 200 million miles beyond Venus. The Chief is hesitant to send G-Force on this mission because the team will be defenseless against this "weird stuff". He doesn't want to ask them to risk their lives against something they can't defend themselves against. Tiny volunteers the team to go and is determined that they will come back alive. The Chief says if the entire team feels that way, he won't try to stop them. He'll send them off with his blessing.

So the team heads off to find this asteroid and we now get footage that was lifted from a different episode during the sequence. But this time they don't go past Saturn (unlike in Episode Three where they go the scenic route past Saturn to get to a planet that is on the other side of Venus.). They reach Ergos, which looks suspiciously like the Moon. We then get this montage of everyone's faces, except for Keyop, who does the same cheer that Jinpei did in Gatchaman Episode Five (he punches the air and then his helmet falls over his face.). They approach the Moon, I mean Ergos, and the craters have somehow disappeared and it now looks like they're in orbit over Europe.

They're now over the planet. I guess back in the 70's, the Phoenix was really advanced for it's time because they are capable of having laser printed documents. Cool beans, I guess. Mark looks at this map and finds out that they are near the spot marked by an X. The Phoenix starts going down over the spot. It's in some mountains. As they're going down, the entrance to the place opens up and Ms. Ann can't help but notice that the entrance looks like a giant sphincter **.** **Yes, Ms. Ann is a sick monkey.** There are missiles waiting to be launched. Mark sees that and orders evasive action just before two missiles are launched. Tiny puts on the jets as the missiles come close to the ship. Then the same two missiles launch at the Phoenix again. The Phoenix dodges them. The ship is going down towards the Giant Sphincter. Tiny says, "There's Ergos. Let's take 'em out!" Mark says no because their missiles might not get through their force field. He decides that faking them out is better. He tells Tiny to do his "wounded bird" act. Tiny expresses his disappointment at having to stay behind while the others go out. Two more missiles nearly hit the Phoenix, and Tiny starts the smoke. As the ship goes down, the other four fly out and land on the ground near the Giant Sphincter.

In the previous scene, we don't see Jason at all and Ms Ann has a theory that it's because when he took one look at the entrance to this base, he thought to himself that it looked just like a giant sphincter and was sitting at his station either laughing himself silly or trying not to laugh himself silly out loud. For some reason I can picture him doing this. I can actually hear him saying, "Oh my God! That looks like a giant sphincter!". Call me silly or whatever. But yet again, I digress...

Inside the Giant Sphincter, a goon who looks suspiciously like a Spectran Green Guy informs Captain Doom that the Phoenix has gone down. Doom says, "Well done! Now we're going to be the conquerors of Earth instead of Planet Spectra." Outside the base, the four members of G-Force run like hell to get inside, as the opening to the Giant Sphincter is closing. They make it inside just in the nick of time. Then the screen goes black for a Commercial Break.

Next, we see Zark pacing around babbling about how much he wishes he could be out fighting with G-Force. Um, yeah, Zark. You wouldn't last a minute out there. But then he goes on to say how lonely he is. What? Is 1 Rover 1 not good enough for you? Trading double entendres with a sultry disembodied voice not hacking it? Then he says G-Force is like his family. Yeah, and Zark is the crazy relative that lives up in the attic that no one wants to talk about. Then he flies over to his monitors. Then he goes on EVEN MORE about the fact that he's worried. GAH! Did Zark forget to take his meds today?

Fortunately, we're rescued from Zark by a shot of a mountain. Then we go through some mines, and inside this base thing. G-Force is clinging to the ceiling and we see them drop one by one. Then Mark wants to know, since they made it in, what do they do now? Um, you're the commander, shouldn't you at least have a plan? Keyop wants to "sock it to 'em" and says so by raising his fist into the air. Jason says, "Down boy!" Then says that this mission is too dangerous and maybe Princess and Keyop should go back to the Phoenix. (Ooooh, Jason, that was not a good thing to say.) Princess says that maybe Jason should go back to the Phoenix. Then Mark gets all parental and yells at them to knock it off because "we've got a job to do". Then they split up. Princess and Mark go one way (like usual. They went off together on missions a lot as I recall.) and Jason and Keyop go in another direction.

Princess and Mark skulk along a wall. Mark peeks around the corner and sees a guard who looks suspiciously Spectran rather than Ergonian. Mark thinks to himself that they'll put him out for an hour. Um, Mark? Shouldn't you just put him out for good? Or at the very least a few hours? I mean if you put him out only for an hour, he's going to wake up and come after you. We see feet running, and then the next thing we see is the guard bent over a railing and Mark standing next to him. We don't get to see how Mark knocked this guy out because the **Standards and Practices Lady listed in the End Credits**  won't let us. Princess comes up and both of them look down a very deep hole. It's supposed to be dark, but we see blinking lights coming from an opening at the bottom. Mark wants to get a closer look. Princess tells him to be careful, and Mark tells her to cover him. Then he goes down the ladder. As Mark goes down the ladder, guns pop out of the wall. Princess warns him about this. Mark looks behind him and sees the guns. In another film hiccup courtesy of the  **Standards and Practices Lady in the End Credits** , Mark is suddenly upside down and there are laser marks on the wall behind him. He tosses off his Sonic Boomerang and breaks the guns. As the boomerang flies around, it sounds just like the Jetson's space ship (which is another reason why Ken Washio is a better G-1 than Mark. Ken's Birdrang doesn't make such a goofy noise.). Then he flies down to the floor and catches the Sonic Boomerang. Then he does this thing where he twirls it as he's putting it back in the holster like he's in a Sergio Leone movie. Then he yells into his communicator (which is really unnecessary) at Jason to fill him in on what they're doing.

Jason and Keyop are in this very brown room. Behind them is this bug mech/vehicle thing for some unexplained reason (but I suspect the  **Standards and Practices Lady in the End Credits**  knows why it's there.). And I'm sure, off camera, Jason mumbles a few choice words about Mark's tone of voice because Mark really didn't have to yell. Jason says that they're in front of some kind of generator. "Whatever it is," he goes on. "It won't be here much longer. We're about to put it out of business. Stand by. You'll hear the noise." Then Jason and Keyop pull out their weapons and assume the "ready for action" pose when they are interrupted by Captain Doom. "Earthling fools!" he calls them. "Did you think you could invade the Planet Ergos without being observed by our forces? Your presence was detected the moment you arrived." Then Doom, in a chatty mood, goes on to say, "And now fools! You will pay for your invasion." Doom orders Jason and Keyop to throw down their weapons. They do, but Jason tells Keyop to be ready to move and fast.

Meanwhile, Mark and Princess have reached that room at the bottom of the big hole. There is a big computer with lots of blinking lights on it. Mark says it looks like an important unit. Thanks for stating the obvious, Mark. He asks Princess if she can figure out what it does and in a hurry. Princess said she'll try. She goes up to it, and Ants In His Pants Mark goes, "I hate to push, Princess..." Then don't! Princess goes up to this big ass computer she's never seen before and you expect her to know right then and there what to do? Geez Louise, Mark! I'd like to see you try it. In fact, I would love it if Princess had replied to him, "You think you're so smart, bird boy, you do it!"

Suddenly, this scythe thing comes down towards Mark. He jumps in front of Princess to protect her from the owner of that scythe thing, a giant mechanical mantis. The mantis rears up, and Mark in probably one of the dumbest things I have ever seen him do (please tell me why he is the commander?), hides behind this pipe, pillar, pole thing. So naturally, the mantis slices the pole in half, but Mark jumps out of the way just in the nick of time. He jumps up, narrowly avoiding another slice from the mantis. Then Mark goes back to stand in front of Princess again. Now there are two mantises (or is it manti?) coming at them. Mark lifts Princess up onto his shoulders and they do a two person Whirlwind Pyramid. They whirl away, narrowly avoiding a slice and dice by the mantises. The mechanical bugs slice and dice the big computer instead. Mark and Princess whirl out of the room and run away. As they are leaving, the computer blows up.

Now they are going up the ladder. Mark helps Princess up the ladder, when she spies Captain Doom. Mark looks up, and sure enough, there is Doom with his whip. Doom's got them now and tells them that they will pay dearly for the damage they have caused. I wonder if Doom will take it in installments? Then he lashes out his whip, breaking one side of the ladder. Mark and Princess are hanging there. Doom lashes out again. He almost hits Mark. Then he breaks off the other side. Mark and Princess are dangling there. Doom is about to lash yet again, when Mark asks Princess to use her pitching arm. She launches her yo-yo, which wraps itself around a railing and she pulls her and Mark to safety.

Back in the brown room, Something Happened That We Didn't Get To See. Because Jason and Keyop now have some guns they didn't have before and they are shooting at the reactor/generator thing. The  **Standards and Practices Lady**  has Jason tell us that "these weapons they found should take care of the generator." I think I have a pretty good idea what the  **Standards and Practices Lady**  wouldn't let us see. Jason and Keyop took out a few goons and it wasn't pretty. The weapons they found did the trick because the generator blows. Back where Doom is with Mark and Princess, an alarm goes off. Doom gets distracted, and Mark uses the distraction to karate chop the whip out of Doom's hand. Mark ends up with a handful of Doom's coat. He gets a little peeved, but Princess tells him to let Doom go. They should get out of there before the place blows. Mark agrees, and then tells Jason and Keyop to "rendezvous! Rendezvous, and move it!", which will eventually be sampled by the Cuban Boys for their Battle of the Planets theme remix.

Jason and Keyop haul ass back to the entrance. Jason pulls down the lever that opens up the Giant Sphincter. He and Keyop jump on top of the missile launcher thingy, then jump up into the Phoenix, which arrived just in time to pick them up. Tiny asks where Mark and Princess are. Jason replies that they're on their way. Then Tiny goes, "Here they come!" Mark and Princess make it up to the missile launcher thing, but behind them a giant vat of molten something that was hanging from the ceiling tips over and pours out molten something. Mark and Princess have trouble climbing up the missile launcher thing. And I'm wondering why don't they jump up like Jason and Keyop did? They didn't seem to have any trouble doing that. But in the background, High Tension Music is playing , so I guess Mark and Princess are just trying to be dramatic or something. The molten something is getting deeper and then Mark looks up to see that the Giant Sphincter is closing. He lashes out that whip towards the Phoenix, it wraps itself around a pole, and the two make it up to the Phoenix just in the nick of time.

Now back on the ship, Mark orders Tiny to get going. Tiny tries, but the heat from the molten something has jammed the lift system. Mark gets all bitchy and tells Tiny to hurry up. If I were Tiny, I would tell Mark, "You think you're so smart, bird boy, you fly this thing!" But Tiny doesn't, because he has the patience of a saint and he switches to jets and the Phoenix takes off. Just in the nick of time. Behind them, however, is Doom, who says that G-Force hasn't seen the last of him. Doom also must have gone back for his jacket, because he's wearing it again.

Now the Phoenix is flying over the water. Next we get a shot inside the cabin. Zark chimes in about how he can empathize with human mothers and natters on about his anxiety problem. And I say that he don't know jack about how human mothers must feel because he's probably never had to get up from a sound sleep to hear a child crying, only to go down and see what's wrong and discover that the child has thrown up all over their bed and the vomit is all over the bed, the floor and the kid or to see a child get hysterical in the doctor's office when the doctor has to apply the anesthetic to the child's forehead so that he can stitch up the cut the child received because the child's father is stupid and leaves rusty metal things lying around the yard for the child to trip over and cut themselves. And I don't think Zark could have handled the blood that was running out of the wound either. But I digress...

The bottom hatch opens up and Mark tosses the whip into the ocean. Way to pollute the water. Not to mention that the whip could have been useful for, oh, let's say...RESEARCH! Methinks Mark forgot the part when Chief Anderson said that the scientists had no clue as to what that whip was made out of. Way to go, Mark. That's using the old brain.

Now we're back at Center Neptune. Zark has been joined by One Rover One. Zark babbles some more about the ship he built, when who should drop by but Princess! Or should I say a badly drawn version of Princess. Hanna-Barbera Princess (I know HB had nothing to do with this show, but I don't really care), who is missing the red bird insignia on her uniform, dropped by to tell Zark that he can rebuild his space ship again. Then she leans down and plants a kiss on his dome. And I'm thinking that Princess is either really desperate because Mark wants to wait until the wedding night, or she'll kiss about anything. I lean more towards the former. Zark tells us he feels all "tingly" inside. Thanks for sharing, Zark. I didn't want to know.

* * *

**Thoughts from Ms. Ann:**

When I watched this show as an eight/nine year old kid, (yes, I was 8 when BoTP debuted in 1978. That makes me ~~in my late 30's~~ the number you get when you subtract 1970 from the current year.) Mark always annoyed me because I thought he was too preachy and not much fun to be around. Jason was the cool one. His vehicle was cooler. His weapons were cooler. He was just... _cool!_ After watching all 105 episodes of Gatchaman, Mark annoys me even more. I personally would like to see Mark get locked in a room with Condor Joe, so he gets the attitude adjustment he so desperately needs. Mark, that is. But that's just me.

This episode was very silly. What got cut out was more glaringly obvious than other episodes and in some scenes, they didn't even try to explain what we missed. And the thing about Jason and Keyop finding guns bothered me because it's such a cop out. Even at the age of eight, I knew that they didn't just happen to find those guns. Something happened that didn't get shown on television. The part where Mark knocks out the goon "for an hour" is another example. The knocking him out for an hour part aside, it was just poorly explained and glaringly edited.

And it's episodes like this one that make me wonder how Mark got the job of commander in the first place. He's not too bright and overly pushy, too, which is why he actually needs to be locked in a room with both Gatchaman  _and_ Condor Joe for a long overdue attitude adjustment.

This also marks the first episode where we get the "Hanna-Barbera" versions of certain G-Force characters. I just want to know what happened to Princess that her face got smashed in like that? And how could someone overlook the red bird insignia that every single member of G-Force has on their chests?

And if you think you're saved from this silliness in the Gatchaman version, think again. *evil grin*


	2. Galactor's Grand Air Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the translation for these episodes come from the subtitles on my Rhino DVD's. This review was originally written in 2002.

Our episode opens with five planes flying in the air, streaming colored smoke from their exhaust. They fly over an air field, where we see all kinds of air craft and people.   The Narrator tells us that the airplane is the technology that has advanced the most in the 20th century.  I could argue with that, but this episode was made in 1972, so I guess for that time, that statement was true.  He goes on to say that the International Science Organization and a team led by Dr. Nambu have developed a new kind of non-polluting aircraft.  It just so happens that today is its test flight.

The plane is about to take flight, and of course, as the Narrator says, the pilot is  _Owashio no Ken,_  or Ken, The Eagle.  Ken has a last name.  Why don't they call him Ken Washio instead of Ken the Eagle?  Isn't calling him Ken the Eagle giving away his secret Gatchaman identity?  Anyway, Nambu is out on the tarmac with Ken, wishing him luck.  Ken looks just like Speed Racer in his flight suit and helmet.  Nambu tells Speed Racer, I mean Ken, that if this test flight is successful, ISO (are they 9002 certified?) could solve the world's air pollution problems.  He tells Speed Racer, I mean Ken, to do his best.  Speed, er, Ken says, "Yes, I will do my best, Dr. Nambu."

Nambu must have lightening speed because the next thing we see is him and the rest of the Kagaku Ninja Tai watching from an observation deck.  Then we see Speed Racer, er, Ken telling the control tower that he's ready for take off.  He asks for his instructions, and he says please.  Two guys in the control tower say that the radar is working fine, and that Ken can take off.  Ken winks at somebody, although he's the only occupant of the plane.  Take off goes without a hitch.

Back on the observation deck, Jinpei says, "There goes  _aniki_ (big brother).  He's so good."  Jinpei calls Ken and sometimes Joe  _aniki_ even though they aren't related to each other.  Jun says, "Good Luck."  Nambu doesn't say a word.  And I don't know what Joe or Ryu said as they are not in this shot.

In the plane, Ken tells the control tower that he had no problems with the take off.  As luck would have it, as soon as Ken sees that, he sees something that looks like a bi-plane flying right towards him.  Back on the deck, Nambu goes, "A near miss!  Watch out!"  Jinpei yells out, "Ken  _aniki!_ Watch out!"  Everyone else looks shocked.

Now we get to see that there is someone standing on this plane.  While he still looks like a very flamboyant Captain Stubing with the skull of a Texas Longhorn, he informs us that he is the Iron Wizard, Katzenberge (not to be mistaken with Iron Chef Katzenberge).  He pronounces his name, Katzenberge, in the proper German pronunciation where that last "e" is pronounced as "ah" or "eh".  Back in the test plane, Ken goes, "Katzenberge?" but he pronounces that last "e"  as "ee", so it sounds like "Katzenberg-ee".    The biplane is flying closer and out come these whips from the wings.  Katzenberge whips and strafes the test plane and Ken goes down in the water.  Nambu is all, "Ken?  What's going on?"  Jinpei is angry, as he raises his fist and says, "Damn, what's with you, aniki?"  Jinpei, it wasn't Ken's fault he crashed.  Then Jun says, "Ken!"  Joe is standing behind them and doesn't say anything.

The flaming wreckage has landed in the water, but then we see that Ken has ejected safely, as he and his parachute are falling down.  Ken lands in the water.  Katzenberge just cackles and heads his plane towards the airport, where he makes a general mess of things and causes panic among the crowds who have come to watch the airshow.  On the deck, Jinpei tells Nambu that it's dangerous out there and they should run quickly.  Just as soon as they make it safely inside, one of the whips takes out the observation deck.  Katzenberge makes a bigger mess of the airshow, and then he cackles about it.

Out in the water, Ken has landed.  He gets a call from Dr. Nambu, asking him if he's all right.  Ken says he is.  Then he tells Nambu that the "mysterious man" on that biplane called himself "Katzenberge".  Ken wonders who that man could be?  Back at the airport, Nambu goes, "Katzenberge?"  Jinpei goes, "Katzenberge?"  Then Jun goes, "Katse?"  Then Joe says, "I got it!  It's Berg Katse!".  Jun agrees, saying that no other human could do something that awful.  Nambu says, "Now it all makes sense!"  Nambu now sees why Katse came to destroy the plane that Nambu worked so hard to create.  Back out in the water, Ken goes, "Aha!  It's Galactor again!"  Then he says damn and asks Nambu if they could gather and launch the God Phoenix, please.  Ken is such a polite young man, always saying please like that.  Nambu agrees and tells the others to go and launch the God Phoenix immediately.  The all say, "Hai!", which is Japanese for "yes".

Meanwhile, in a desert of some kind, a rocket is about to be launched.  The rocket manages to launch and gain some altitude, when who should stop by but Berg Katse and his biplane.  Out come the whips and the rocket gets thrashed around a few times before it explodes.  Then Katse cackles about it and leaves.

Next we see Ken's jet, the G-1, docking with the God Phoenix.  I wonder how Ken got out of the water, found his plane, transmuted, and found the God Phoenix so quickly?  Ken docks successfully, but Katse shows up again.  In the cockpit, Ryu spies Katse and says, "There his is.  Damned Galactor."  The God Phoenix is behind Katse, but he turns his plane around.  Ryu says so, then Ken tells him to be careful with his flying.  Katse yells at them, "You dare to think you can prevail over Galactor's scientific power?  Come on, God Phoenix!"  Ryu goes, "Damn, he's making fun of us!"  Katse's whips come out of the plane and they whip the God Phoenix, but don't do anything to it.  The God Phoenix turns around and goes straight for Katse.  Joe goes, "Shit!  I'll shoot it down."  Then he goes up to the Big Red Button and launches a Bird Missile.  Nobody stops Joe this time.  The missile heads for Katse, but a dome closes around him and the missiles have no effect.  Ken goes, "Bird Missiles have no effect!"  Then the whips come out again and a piece of the God Phoenix's tailfin comes off.  Ken, Jun, and Ryu gasp.  Joe goes, "He got our tailfin!"  Ken can't believe that the God Phoenix got damaged and wonders what that whip was made of.  Back on the biplane, Katse cackles some more and says he'll let them go for today and that they'll have more fun next time.  He bids them farewell as his dome lowers into the plane and the plane transforms into a rocket.  Back on the God Phoenix, Ryu says that Katse's plane has tremendous speed.  Ken goes "Damn" or he could have said "shit" because he said  _Kuso_ , which is Japanese for "shit" but also can mean "damn".  But whenever Joe says  _Kuso_ he always says "shit".   Jun tells them that thing is Galactor's secret weapon and that they should be careful.

Next we see a house that looks like a cross between a Howard Johnson's and the House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin.  The house has an orange roof and, funny enough, it's on some rocks.  Inside the house, the team is gathered around Nambu, who is sitting up on a platform looking through the world's biggest microscope.  He is looking at some shiny rocks.  Then he says, "This is terrifying."  Ken goes, "So it was no ordinary iron whip?"  (I thought whips were generally made out of leather, and I don't mean the ones that people use for bondage and discipline.  I remember in the book,  _Farmer Boy_ , Almanzo learned how to braid his own whips and those were made from tanned hides.  But I digress...) Nambu thinks that the whip material was something extraordinary invented by Galactor.  He points to the piece of the smashed tailfin he had and says, "It's a super metal called Whisker."

You read that correctly.  This terrifying new super metal invented by the Bad Guys is called "Whisker".

At this point, I can feel the laughter welling up inside me.  But before I can proceed to bust my gut over the name of this super metal, Jinpei, that lovable little scamp, says, "Whisky?"

Then I start laughing.  I am laughing so hard that I have to pause the DVD.  My insides grow sore from laughing and I can feel the tears in my eyes.

Okay, I've composed myself now.  Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Jinpei said, "Whisky?"

Then Jun says, "It's not 'whisky'.  Whisker."  And I admire her for being able to keep a straight face through this.

Ryu wants to know what "whisker" is because he's never heard of it.  And I admire Ryu for being able to keep a straight face through this.

Nambu explains that materials that are stronger than iron are being created one after another and that Whisker is stronger than any metal by a factor of hundreds, no thousands.  That is why Whisker is called a Super Metal.  And I admire Nambu for being able to keep a straight face throughout this.

Ken says, "So that funny airplane and whip, everything was made of Whisker?"  And I admire Ken for keeping a straight face throughout this.

Ryu says, "No wonder the bird missiles had no effect."  And Nambu says he wasn't aware that Galactor had invented Whisker.  He goes on to say that if Galactor uses this Whisker stuff, they (Earth) don't stand a chance and they will be conquered by Galactor.  Ken thinks that they should create their own weapons made from Whisker.  Jinpei agrees.  Nambu says that they can't because only Galactor knows how to make it.  Galactor's science is more advanced that Earth's.  Ryu wonders if they're going to keep losing like this.  Nambu says no.  He tells the KNT that they're to locate the secret Whisker factory, sneak inside, and destroy it.

Next we're over some mountains.  The Narrator tells us that Gatchaman starts searching all the mines throughout the world.  Today is the third day of their search.  Everything is quiet on the God Phoenix until some on board intstruments start chirping.  Ryu says, "Ken, it's a tremendous magnetic field!"  Ken looks at a map, points to an X, and thinks there might be a large underground mine there.  He tells Ryu that they're going to investigate.  Ryu lowers the God Phoenix over the spot.  Something opens up (the Giant Sphincter, but we can't really see that, because the film from this Gatchaman episode wasn't restored as much and it's really dark.) and there is a missile launcher thing.  Ken goes, "It's here!  Galactor's secret factory."  Then two missiles launch at the God Phoenix, but the ship manages to dodge out of the way.  Two more missiles, fired from the same exact spot in the launch thing as the two previous missiles were, and the God Phoenix avoids those.  Ryu says he's going into the opening.  Ken says to wait and that Galactor will get them.  He tells Ryu that they'll pretend to have been shot down, and then they will sneak inside.  Ryu complains that he has to stay behind again.  (Poor guy.)  Two more missiles come near the God Phoenix, but they crash into each other.  Ryu starts the smoke and the God Phoenix goes down.  Ken says, "Now!  Let's go!"  And then he, Jun, Jinpei, and Joe jump out the bottom hatch of the ship.  They land on the ground and run like hell to get into the factory as the entrance is closing.  Meanwhile, Katse, still in his flamboyant Capt. Stubing outfit, and some goons think that they actually shot down the God Phoenix.

Next there's a title card with a Golden Ken in his Birdstyle and an announcer goes, "Gatchaman!"

Now we're near a mountain and some tracks, which means this is a mine.  We take the scenic route into the mountain through the mine tunnels.  The Narrator tells us, "The secret factory that Gatchaman has searched for is deep in the underground of a mountain.  The Science Ninja Team thinks they have snuck in successfully, but Galactor will not fail to find them."  Now we are at the other entrance, and the four Science Ninjas fall down to the ground.  Jinpei goes, "Wow."  Ken says, "Galactor does it well.  What an amazing factory."  Jinpei goes, "Let's use explosives and blow it up!"  Joe, who has been fairly quiet until now, calls Jinpei an idiot.  Joe says, "If that smelter fell, Liquid Whisker would flood out, and we'd all be killed."  And I really admire Joe for being able to keep a straight face when he mentioned that Whisker stuff. After Joe is done speaking, he assumes his usual pose, of standing with his arms crossed over his chest.  Jun asks Ken what they should do.  Ken says that they should destroy their computer and reactor.  Then they hear a noise.  Jinpei asks, "What's that?" and then the four go and hide.  Through a door comes a giant mechanical motorized praying mantis.  Ken watches this, smiles, then looks over at Jun, who goes, "Okay" (she says this in English.).  Jun gets her yo-yo ready and then we see Jinpei who gets his bolos ready.  The Mantis stops and then Ken steps out from his hiding place.  The mantis tries to slice Ken, who gets away.  From the top, a Green Goon pops out with his gun.  Jun launches her yo-yo, knocking him out.  Another one pops out, and Jinpei gets him around the neck with the bolos.  Then Joe comes flying out to give the goon a good kick to the head, or under the guy's chin.  The goon goes down.  Joe literally knocked the spit out of this goon, as saliva comes flying from his mouth as he collapses.  Ken comes flying down.  He then says that he and Jun will find the computer and that Jinpei and Joe are to find the reactor.  Then he asks if everyone is ready.  Jinpei is.  Then Jinpei teases Jun by saying, "Oneechan (big sister), are you happy to be going with aniki?"  Jinpei likes to tease Jun about Ken, even though those two aren't an item.  This is a long story which I will tell later.  Jun calls Jinpei an idiot.  Ken goes, "Joe, do it well." and Joe replies, "Yeah, same to you."  Ken and Jun run off in one direction, and Joe and Jinpei drive off in the mantis.

Jun and Ken skulk along a wall down a hallway.  At the end of the hallway, stands a goon.  Ken takes him out by hitting him in the back of the head.  Jun catches up with Ken and they look down this large shaft/hole thing, and see some blinking lights coming from a doorway at the bottom.  Ken goes down the ladder to investigate, and tells Jun to wait there until he calls her.  Jun agrees.  Meanwhile, some laser guns come out from behind two panels in the wall on this shaft.  They're pointed at Ken, who is going down the ladder.  Jun sees this and tells Ken to watch out.  Ken turns to look and one of the guns fires at him.  Ken ducks out of the way in time.  The other one fires and nearly gets Ken's feet, but he moves in time.  He's upside down now.  As the gun tries to get off another shot at Ken, Ken tosses out his Birdrang, which slices the guns in half.  Ken jumps down to the bottom of this shaft.  He lands on one knee, raises his hand in the air, and catches his weapon.  Then he hams it up a little, by twirling it around like those cowboys from those spaghetti westerns do.  Then he puts it back in his holster.  Then he motions for Jun to come down.  He contacts Joe.

Meanwhile, Joe and Jinpei are in this brown room.  They've found the reactor and they are about to begin trashing it.  Behind them, they parked the mantis.  They draw their weapons and are about to strike, when someone yells, "Stop!"  It's Berg Katse and he's got a whip.  Katse says, "You snuck into this secret factory.  Your courage is impressive."  Then he decides that no, they are simply conceited.    Seems that Berg knew that the KNT snuck into the factory.  Then he tells them to be good and put down their weapons.  Joe and Jinpei do this, and Joe mutters, "Damn, they tricked us."  Jinpei says that Ken is in danger.

Back to Ken and Jun.  They found the computer.  It is a very large computer.  Ken says that if they destroy it, the entire factory will be paralyzed.  Jun says, "Let me try it."  She walks up to the Big Computer and looks at it, figuring out the right way to crash this computer.  Ken tells her to make it quick.  He shouldn't hurry her, but on the other hand, he did say please.  Then a couple more mechanical mantises come in.  The first one tries to get Ken, but he jumps out of the way.  He stands very protectively in front of Jun.  Another one attempts to slice and dice the two of them.  Ken leaps out of the way and stands behind a pole (which he probably did because it happened so fast.  The slicing of the two of them was edited out of BotP and just the shot of Ken/Mark jumping behind that pole was left.).  Another mantis chops the pole and Ken flies up.  He narrowly avoids another slicing and dicing.  Ken is now back by Jun and they are surrounded.  Just as they are about to get chopped up, they do a two person variation of the Tornado Fighter.  As they whirl their way out of there, the mantises try to attack, but they end up destroying the computer instead.  Ken and Jun make it out of the room in time before there is a big explosion.

In the reactor room, Katse sees this on a monitor.  "This is bad," he says.  Jinpei goes, "Good for aniki!  He did it!"  Joe goes, "We don't have time to be impressed.  We can't just watch."  Joe shouts as he jumps up, "Let's go!"  And Jinpei shouts as he jumps up, "Yeah!"  They're in the air, as goons are shooting at them.  Joe does this mid-air flip, so he is going to land feet first, and knocks out a goon or two.  Jinpei has the bolos and he takes out two.  He gets them on the ground and starts knocking their heads together. Joe punches another one and then knees him in the gut.  Then Joe turns to see Katse running away.  Joe pulls out his cable gun, then he points it, backwards so that crescent hook attachment thing is aimed at Katse.  He pushes (yes, you read that right) the trigger and out flies a bunch of cable, headed for Berg Katse.  Katse pulls a goon in front of him and the goon gets it in the neck.  Then Katse runs away.  This whole thing was edited out of Battle of the Planets, and now we know how Jason and Keyop "found" those guns.

Meanwhile, Ken and Jun are climbing up the ladder.  Jun isn't climbing fast enough for Ken, so he takes her hand to help her along.  Jun spies Katse at the top of the ladder and tells Ken.  Katse thanks the two Science Ninjas for destroying their computer.  Then he says that he'll pay them back.  He whips the ladder, breaking one of the sides.  Then he whips the other side, so now Ken and Jun are dangling and Ken is holding on to what's left of the ladder with one hand.  Katse tells them that he'll tear them to pieces and he readies his whip to strike again.  Ken goes, "Jun, do it."  Jun pulls out her yo-yo and tosses it at the railing above.  The yo-yo winds it's way around the railing.  As Katse whips at them again, she pulls herself and Ken to safety.  Katse raises the whip and goes, "You made it."  Then he looks at Ken, and Ken looks at him.

Then we cut back to the reactor, and Joe and Jinpei have taken the weapons from a couple of dead goons and are firing at the reactor.  It starts glowing an the two run out of the room.  Then the thing blows up.

Back by Ken and Jun, an alarm goes off.  Katse gets distracted, and Ken uses that distraction to disarm Katse.  Katse somehow escaped, because Ken is holding Katse's coat.  Ken wonders how he did this and then calls Katse a bastard.  Then he gets angry and wants to go after Katse, but Jun tells him that their mission is complete and they should go.  Ken calls Ryu, who I hope is awake.  He tells Ryu to come and pick them up.

Then we see Joe and Jinpei running like hell to the room they came in when they snuck into the base.  Joe pulls down a lever to open the entrance.  They climb on top of the missile launcher and jump up into the God Phoenix.  Ryu asks Joe where Ken and Jun are.  Then Ryu sees them.  Ken has the whip.  Probably because of the reverberations of all the things that the KNT blew up, one of the smelters tips over and out pours some liquid Whisker.  The two of them climb up the missile launcher.  And if things couldn't get any worse, the entrance is starting to close.  On the God Phoenix, Joe says, "Damn, we have to hurry before the missiles blow up."  Then he tells Ken to hurry.  Ken and Jun make it to the top of the launcher, and then Ken whips that whip out and catches it on a metal pole in the God Phoenix (a pole that wasn't there before.).  He and Jun make it up to their ship just in time.

Ken tells Ryu to get them out of there.  He's trying, but the mine's magnetic system is too strong.  Ken tells him to switch to jet engines.  Ryu does, and they make it out of there safely.

Katse has escaped as well.  He shadows them with the biplane and says, "Damned Gatchaman!  How dare you put a stop to my plans?"  Then he says that they'll pay for this and that they should remember this.

Our heroes are now safely over the ocean, on their way back.  Ken opens the bottom hatch and tosses the whip into the ocean.  Shouldn't he be bringing that back to Nambu so they could study it and learn how to make this Whisker stuff?  The Narrator tells us that the terrifying Whisker was no match for Gatchaman.  But Berg Katse hasn't given up yet.  "What will be his next secret weapon?" wonders the Narrator.  Then he says, "Go Gatchaman!  For world peace!"  And the God Phoenix flies off into the moon.

* * *

**Ms. Ann's Thoughts:**

Both versions of this episode were silly.  The BotP version was silly for its unexplained editing and Mark's mood swings aka Casey Kasem's voice acting.  This version was silly for one reason only.  The name given to this terrifying super metal.  What are the scientists at Galactor smoking anyway?  You invent this metal with science that is far more advanced than Earth's science.  It is harder than any other metal out there.  You make weapons with it that are virtually indestructible.  Then you give it the silliest, most non threatening name in the world.  Whisker.  Whisker makes me think of little cute puppies and kittens.  It does not strike fear into my very being.

The bit about me laughing was true.  Before I could laugh at the name of this metal, Jinpei pipes up with "Whisky" and then I just lost it completely.

Nambu was a little out of character in this one, as he ordered the Science Ninja Team to find and destroy this factory, rather than the usual "follow them and see if you can find their headquarters."

Jinpei calls Ken, and sometimes Joe, "aniki" which, as I understand it, is a Japanese slang expression for "big brother".  He calls Jun "oneechan", which is also the Japanese slang for "big sister".  None of the KNT are blood relation.  As legend has it, the five of them ended up coming to live with Dr. Nambu when they were children and he raised them and trained them for the Kagaku Ninja Tai.  All of them are orphans, except for Ryu, who has a father and a younger brother.

Jinpei also likes to tease Jun about Ken.  Ken and Jun don't have a thing going on, but I think, or it sometimes appears, that Jun might have a little crush on Ken.  It is well known in the fan community that Ken is kind of dense when it comes to women.  It's not really "dense", but more of a Japanese cultural thing.  The hero is devoted to his duty and not to women.  The women are for the second or anyone else under the hero in rank.  In American culture, the hero always gets the girl.  In Battle of the Planets, Mark and Princess do have this "thing" going on, so to speak, and it has been verbally acknowledged on that show.

This also seems to be the first episode where the team is aware of Berg Katse's existence and they actually get to fight him instead of one of his inept underlings.  I guess Berg was the villain of the week, since Bug Man FUBAR'ed everything in the previous two episodes.

There really isn't much more to say about this one.  I'm thankful that there is no Zark in this version.


End file.
